James knew this wasn’t a normal request even in the haze of the anaesthetic and fentanyl he was under, and he thought he might have done something wrong. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t respond or move to breathe.
He tried his best to breathe and told himself to “wake up,” yet he couldn’t remember how. Instead, he was stuck staring at the clock as medical staff rushed around him.
He recalled the white of the room becoming more vivid, as if the exposure on a photograph was being turned up, and his thoughts cleared.
“My thoughts turned to my mother and my father, and then to nothing. I could only spectate as my world went white,” he said. “My life didn’t flash before my eyes. I didn’t see God. There was just white. ‘Oh well,’ I thought. ‘I guess that’s that.’”
